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- Tim Russert:
- "As you can see that ONE chicken will be the deciding
factor for crossing the road for all of us. If that one chicken
crosses the road and two hundred and sixty nine other chickens from
other states also cross the road...then it's all over. BUT...If that
one chicken does NOT cross the road then all bets are off and your
guess is as good as mine about the status of road crossing for us
all..."
- CNN, NBC, ABC, CBS, FOX:
- "That chicken has crossed the road!...no,
wait, it's too early to tell if that chicken has crossed the road.
That chicken HAS CROSSED THE ROAD!, ...no...wait..."
- RUSH LIMBAUGH:
- Of course, the chicken crossed the road, it is part of
the liberal chicken agenda fostered by the current administration.
Make no mistake about it folks, that chicken is after your wallet! If
you are not already receiving the Limbaugh letter then you are missing
out on a full analysis of the chicken's hidden agenda of road
crossing..."
- NPR:
- "This morning on NPR we will have George W. Bush's campaign with
a full analysis of why the chicken road crossing should be the final
crossing, and later this morning, we'll hear from the Gore campaign
who says that they don't necessarily propose legal action against the
road crossing, but wants to insure that there have been no
irregularities in providing equal access to the road for all
chickens."
- Jesse Jackson, FAMU and Fla Southern:
- "RECROSS! RECROSS! RECROSS!"
- VICE PRESIDENT GORE
- I fight for the chickens and I am fighting for the chickens right now.
I will not give up on the chickens crossing the road! I will fight for
the chickens, and I will not disappoint them.
- GOVERNOR GEORGE W. BUSH
- I don't believe we need to get the chickens across the road. I say
give the road to the chickens and let them decide. The government needs to let
go of strangling the chickens so they can get across the road.
- SENATOR LEIBERMAN
- I believe that every chicken has the right to worship their God in
their own way. Crossing the road is a spiritual journey and no chicken should be
denied the right to cross the road in their own way.
- SECRETARY CHENEY
- Chickens are big-time because they have wings. They could fly if they
wanted to. Chickens don't want to cross the road. They don't need help
crossing the road. In fact, I'm not interested in crossing the road myself.
- HARRY BROWNE, LIBERTARIAN FOR PRESIDENT
- A chicken crossing the road is one of the few freedoms government has
not taken away. People on the other hand may only cross the road when
they are told to do so.
- RALPH NADER
- Chickens are misled into believing there is a road by the evil
tiremakers. Chickens aren't ignorant, but our society pays tiremakers
to create the need for these roads and then lures chickens into believing there is an
advantage to crossing them. Down with the roads, up with chickens.
- PAT BUCHANAN
- To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.
- JERRY FALWELL
- Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see
the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the
"other side." That's what "they" call it -"the other side." Yes, my
friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will
become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the
liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other
side." That chicken should not be free to cross the road. It's as
plain and simple as that.
- DR. SEUSS
- Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes! The
chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed, I've not been told!
- ERNEST HEMINGWAY
- To die. In the rain.
- MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.
- I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross without
having their motives called into question.
- GRANDPA
- In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone
told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough
for us.
- ARISTOTLE
- It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
- KARL MARX
- It was a historical inevitability.
- SADDAM HUSSEIN
- This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in
dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
- RONALD REAGAN
- What chicken?
- CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK (Star Trek)
- To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
- FOX MULDER (The X Files)
- You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens
have to cross before you believe it?
- FREUD
- The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the
road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
- BILL GATES
- I have just released eChicken 2000, which will not only cross roads,
but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your
checkbook--and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.
- EINSTEIN
- Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the
chicken?
- BILL CLINTON
- I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by
"chicken"? Could you define "chicken" please?
- GEORGE BUSH
- I don't think I should have to answer that question.
- LOUIS FARRAKHAN
- The road, you will see, represents the black man. The chicken crossed
the "black man" in order to trample him and keep him down.
- THE BIBLE
- And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken,
"Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and
there was much rejoicing.
- COLONEL SANDERS
- I missed another one?
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