The Parrot

A pet shop owner had difficulty selling a parrot. Each time a customer got interested the parrot would say "Kiss off, butt face". Finally the shopkeeper decided that if it could talk so well it could be educated to say phrases other than swearing. He tied a string to each leg of the parrot, repeated a phrase constantly and tugged the string at the same time.

After six months the parrot was for sale again and a customer noticed the strings attached to the parrots legs. "Try pulling the one on the left leg," said the shopkeeper to the interested customer. He did and the bird responded with: Hello, have a nice day." The customer pulled the string on the other leg and got another pleasant response: "Hello mate, what's new?"

The customer was impressed. "What happens it I pull both strings together?" The parrot responded: "I'd fall off the damn perch ya stupid bast@&*."