SEC Conference HUMOR

A little boy and his mother were walking through a Baton Rouge cemetery when they came upon a headstone that read "Here lies an LSU graduate and an honest man."
The little boy asked, "Mommy, why did they bury 2 people in there?"

Did you hear about the Florida linebacker that stole a police car?
He saw "911" on the side and thought it was a Porsche.

Did you hear the Bama library burned down?
The saddest part was that half the books weren't colored in yet.

The Kentucky library burned down too.
They lost their book.

Two Auburn University football players were down at the War Eagle Supper Club partying. They were hootin' and hollerin' when a bartender asked them why they were celebrating. The smart one said proudly that they had just finished a jigsaw puzzle and it only took them two months.
"Two months!?" exclaimed the bartender.
One player replied, "Yeah, but the box said 4-6 years."

Coach Mike Dubose is only dressing 10 players for the Alabama game this week. The rest of the team will get dressed by themselves.

A University of South Carolina student was visiting a Yankee relative in Boston over the holidays. He went to a large party and met a pretty coed. He was attempting to start up a conversation with the tired line "Where do y'all go to school?"
The coed, of course, was not overly impressed with his grammar or southern drawl but did answer his question. "Yale," she replied.
The South Carolina student took big, deep breath and shouted, "WHERE DO Y'ALL GO TO SCHOOL?"

Florida Gators

1. What do you call a drug ring in Gainesville...... A huddle
   
   
2. Four Gator football players are in a car, whose driving? ...The police
   
   
3. Florida has adopted a new "Honors System"....Yes your Honor, No your Honor.
   
   
4. Florida has hired a new defensive coordinator.....Johnny Cochran.
   
   
5. How does Florida spend the first week of spring practice?....studying their Miranda Rights.
   
   
6. Florida's players were all in a remedial English class, the teacher asked "Does anyone know what comes after a sentence?"
   All the players shouted in unison, "the appeal", with Gator pride.

Q : Where was O.J. Simpson headed in the white Bronco?
A: Knoxville, TN. He knew the police would never look for a Heisman trophy winner there.

Q: Why do Alabama cheerleaders wear bibs?
A: To keep the tobacco juice off their uniforms.

Q: What do you get when you put 32 Tennessee cheerleaders in the same room?
A: A full set of teeth.

Q: How do you get a Mississippi State cheerleader into your dorm room?
A: Grease her hips and push.

Q: Why is ice no longer available at Arkansas football games?
A: The senior who knew the recipe graduated.

Q: How is the LSU football team like a possum?
A: They play dead at home and get killed on the road.

Q: What are the longest 3 years of a Florida football player's life?
A: His freshman year.

Q: Why did Vanderbilt replace the stadium grass with Astroturf?
A: To keep the cheerleaders from grazing during games.

Q: How do you get an Ole Miss graduate off your front porch?
A: Pay him for the pizza.

Q: How many Tennessee freshmen does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. That's a sophomore course.

Q: What does the average Florida football player get on his SAT?
A: Drool.