A conductor was having a lot of trouble with one drummer. He constantly gave the guy personal attention and much advice but, his performance simply didn't improve. Finally, before the whole orchestra, he said, "When a musician just can't handle his instrument, they give him two sticks and make him a drummer."

A stage whisper was heard from the percussion section, "And if he can't handle that, they take away one of his sticks and make him a conductor."