Things a True Southerner Knows:

  • The difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit.

  • Pretty much how many fish make up a mess.

  • What general direction cattywumpus is.

  • That "gimme sugar" don't mean pass the sugar.

  • When somebody's "fixin" to do something, it won't be long.

  • The difference between Yankee's and damn Yankee's.

  • How good a cold grape Nehi and cheese crackers are at a country store.

  • Knows what, "Well I Suwannee !!" means.

  • Ain't nobody's biscuits like Grandma's biscuits !!

  • A good dog is worth its weight in gold.

  • Real gravy don't come from the store.

  • The War of Northern Aggression was over state rights, not slavery.

  • When "by and by" is.

  • How to handle their "pot likker".

  • The difference between "pert' near" and "a right far piece".

  • The differences between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and trailer trash.

  • Never to go snipe hunting twice.

  • What happens when you swallow tobacco juice.

  • Never to assume that the other car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.

  • You may wear long sleeves, but you should always roll 'em up past the elbows.

  • You should never loan your tools, pick-up, or gun to nobody.

  • A belt serves a greater purpose than holding Daddy's pants up.

  • Rocking chairs and swings are guaranteed stress relievers.

  • Rocking chairs and swings with an old person in them are history lessons.

  • GOD BLESSED DIXIE !!!!