New Chemical Element DiscoveredAdministratium |
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The heaviest element known to science was recently discovered by investigators at a major US research university. The element, tentatively named administratium, has no protons or electrons and thus has an atomic number of 0. However, it does have one neutron, 125 assistant neutrons, 75 vice neutrons and 111 assistant vice neutrons, which gives it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by a force that involves the continuous exchange of meson-like particles called morons. It is surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since it has no electrons, administratium is inert. However, it can be detected chemically as it impedes every reaction it comes in contact with. According to the discoverers, a minute amount of administratium causes one reaction to take over four days to complete when it would have normally occurred in less than a second. Administratium has a normal half-life of approximately three to four years, at which time it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which assistant neutrons, vice neutrons and assistant vice neutrons exchange places. Some studies have shown that the atomic mass actually increases after each reorganization. Research at other laboratories indicate that administratium occurs naturally in the atmosphere. It tends to concentrate at certain points such as government agencies and large corporations but is found in it's most concentrated, and hence deadliest, form at schools. The concentration level does not seem to be affected by whether an elementary, secondary or postsecondary school is involved and it can usually be found in the newest, best appointed and best maintained buildings on campus. Scientists point out that administratium is known to be toxic and at any level of concentration and can easily destroy any productive reaction where it is allowed to accumulate. Attempts are being made to determine how administratium can be controlled to prevent irreversible damage, but results to date are not promising. |
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