This was actually posted very briefly on the McDonnell Douglas website by an employee there who obviously has a sense of humor. The company, of course, does not (have a sense of humor) - and made the web department take it down immediately. (McDonnell Douglas is one of the world's chief suppliers of military aircraft.) |
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Warranty Card Survey |
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Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military aircraft. In order to protect your new investment, please take a few moments to fill out the warranty registration card below. Answering the survey questions is not required, but the information will help us to develop new products that best meet your needs and desires. | |||||
1.[_] Mr. [_] Mrs. [_] Ms. [_] Miss [_] Lt. [_] Gen. [_] Comrade [_] Classified [_] Other First Name: ...................................... Initial: ........ Last Name:................................................... Password: ............... (max. 8 char) Code Name: .................... Latitude-Longitude-Altitude: ....... ........... |
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2. Which model aircraft did you purchase? | |||||
[_] F-14 Tomcat | [_] F-15 Eagle | [_] F-16 Falcon | [_] F-117A Stealth | [_] Classified | |
3.Date of purchase (Year/Month/Day): .......... /.......... /........... | |||||
4. Serial Number: ............................................... | |||||
5. Please check where this product was purchased: | |||||
[_] Received as gift / aid package | [_] Mail order | [_] Government surplus | |||
[_] Catalog showroom | [_] Discount store | [_] Classified | |||
[_] Independent arms broker | |||||
6. Please check how you became aware of the McDonnell Douglas product you have just purchased: | |||||
[_] Heard loud noise, looked up | [_] Espionage | [_] Political lobbying by manufacturer | |||
[_] Store display | [_] Recomended by friend/relative/ally | [_] Was attacked by one | |||
7. Please check the three (3) factors that most influenced your decision to purchase this McDonnell Douglas product: | |||||
[_] Style / appearance | [_] Kickback / bribe | [_] Advanced Weapons Systems | |||
[_] Speed / maneuverability | [_] Recommended by salesperson | [_] Backroom politics | |||
[_] Price / value | [_] McDonnell Douglas reputation | [_] Negative experience opposing one in combat | |||
[_] Comfort / convenience | |||||
8. Please check the location(s) where this product will be used: | |||||
[_] North Am | [_] Aircraft carrier | [_] Iraq | [_] Africa | [_] Iraq | [_] Classified |
[_] Iraq | [_] Iraq | [_] Middle East (not Iraq) | [_] Iraq | [_] Misc. Third World countries | [_] Iraq |
[_] Iraq | [_] Europe | [_] Iraq | [_] Asia / Far East | [_] Iraq | |
9. Please check the products that you currently own or intend to purchase in the near future: | |||||
[_] Color TV | [_] ICBM | [_] CD Player | [_] Space Shuttle | [_] Nuclear Weapon | |
[_] VCR | [_] Killer Satellite | [_] Air-to-Air Missiles | [_] Home Computer | ||
10. How would you describe yourself or your organization? (Check all that apply:) | |||||
[_] Communist / Socialist | [_] Neutral | [_] Corrupt | |||
[_] Terrorist | [_] Democratic | [_] Primitive / Tribal | |||
[_] Crazed | [_] Dictatorship | ||||
11. How did you pay for your McDonnell Douglas product? | |||||
[_] Deficit spending | [_] Oil revenues | [_] Ransom money | |||
[_] Cash | [_] Personal check | [_] Traveler's check | |||
[_] Suitcases of cocaine | [_] Credit card | ||||
12. Your occupation: | |||||
[_] Homemaker | [_] Mercenary | [_] Defense Minister / General | |||
[_] Sales / marketing | [_] Tyrant | [_] Retired | |||
[_] Revolutionary | [_] Middle management | [_] Student | |||
[_] Clerical | [_] Eccentric billionaire | ||||
13. To help us understand our customers' lifestyles, please indicate the interests and activities in which you and your spouse enjoy participating on a regular basis: | |||||
[_] Golf | [_] Gardening | [_] Household pets | |||
[_] Boating / sailing | [_] Crafts | [_] Crushing rebellions | |||
[_] Sabotage | [_] Black market / smuggling | [_] Espionage / reconnaissance | |||
[_] Running / jogging | [_] Collectibles / collections | [_] Fashion clothing | |||
[_] Propaganda / disinformation | [_] Watching sports on TV | [_] Border disputes | |||
[_] Destabilization / overthrow | [_] Wines | [_] Mutually Assured Destruction | |||
[_] Default on loans | [_] Interrogation / torture | ||||
Thank you for taking the time to fill out this questionnaire. Your answers will be used in market studies that will help McDonnell Douglas serve you better in the future - as well as allowing you to receive mailings and special offers from other companies, governments, extremist groups, and mysterious consortia. As a bonus for responding to this survey, you will be registered to win a brand new F-117A in our Desert Thunder Sweepstakes! Comments or suggestions about our fighter planes? Please write to: McDONNELL DOUGLAS CORPORATION Marketing Department Military Aerospace Division |