PETER MARSHALL'S LIST OF FAVORITE ANSWERS FROM
"HOLLYWOOD SQUARES"

1. According to Movie Life magazine, Ann-Margaret would like to start having babies soon, but her husband wants her to wait awhile. Why?
PAUL LYNDE: He's out of town.

2. Dennis Weaver, Debbie Reynolds, and Shelley Winters star in the movie "What's The Matter With Helen?" Who plays Helen?
CHARLEY WEAVER: Dennis Weaver--that's why they asked the question.

3. What are "dual-purpose cattle" good for that other cattle aren't?
PAUL LYNDE: They give milk...and cookies, but I don't recommend the cookies.

4. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant?
PAUL LYNDE: Who told you about my elephant?

5. James Stewart did it over twenty years ago when he was forty-one years old. Now he says it was "one of the best things I ever did." What was it?
MARTY ALLEN: Rhonda Fleming.

6. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?
CHARLEY WEAVER: His feet.

7. Before a cow will give you any milk, she has to have something very important. What?
PAUL LYNDE: An engagement ring.

8. According to Robert Mitchum, one thing has ruined more actors than drinking. What?
CHARLEY WEAVER: Not drinking.

9. When the Lone Ranger finished with a case, he left something behind. What?
PAUL LYNDE: A masked baby.

10. True or false: Some African Watusi tribesmen greet guests by running toward them at full speed, then high-jumping over them.
CHARLEY WEAVER: This is sometimes terribly embarrassing to tall guests.

11. You're on your first visit to Japan, and you head right for the Kabuki. Why?
PAUL LYNDE: It was a long plane ride.

12. If you're going to make a parachute jump, you should be at least how high?
CHARLEY WEAVER: Three days of steady drinking should do it.

13. Do female frogs croak?
PAUL LYNDE: If you hold their little heads under water.

14. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?
DON KNOTTS: That's what's been keeping me awake.

15. True or false: Many people sleep better in their street clothes than they do in their pajamas.
PAUL LYNDE: Yes. We call them winos.

16. According to the World Book, is it okay to freeze your persimmons?
PAUL LYNDE: No. You should dress warmly.

17. According to psychologists, when a child begins to get curious about sex, what is the one question he will most ask his mommy and daddy?
PAUL LYNDE: Where can I get some?

18. When you give a waitress a "tip", the letters T-I-P stand for something. What?
Paul Lynde: This is pastrami?!?

19. Why do the Hell's Angels wear leather?
Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles so easily.