Bumper Stickers:

  • Your kid may be an honors student, but you're still a moron.
  • Cover Me.... I'm changing lanes.
  • I brake for no apparent reason.
  • Learn from your parent's mistake... Use birth control.
  • Forget World Peace.... Visualize using your turn signal.
  • He who laughs last thinks the slowest.
  • Lottery-A tax on people who are really bad at math.
  • it IS as bad as you think, and yes they ARE out to get you.
  • Change is inevitable... except from a vending machine.
  • Time is what keeps everything from happening at once.
  • I love cats.... they taste just like chicken.
  • Rehab is for quitters.
  • I get enough exercise pushing my luck.
  • Jack Kevorkian for white house physician.
  • I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to become a vegitarian.
  • Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.
  • Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.
  • Real women don't have hot flashes they have POWER SURGES.
  • Few women will admit their age..... Fewer men will act it.
  • I don't suffer from insanity.... I love every minute of it.
  • IRS: We've got what it takes to take what you've got.
  • Time is the best teacher but unfortunately it kills all of it's students.
  • It's lonely at the top... but you eat better.
  • According to my calculations, the problem doesn't exist.
  • A bartender is a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
  • Reality? Is that where the pizza guy comes from?
  • How can I miss you if you won't go away?
  • Warning: Dates on the calendar are closer than they appear.
  • We are born naked, hungry, and wet. Then things get alot worse.
  • Always remember that you're unique... just like everyone else.
  • Friends help you move.... Real Friends help you move bodies.
  • Very Funny Scotty.... Now beam down my clothes.
  • Puritanism-The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.
  • Conciousness-That annoying time between naps.
  • i souport publik edgukashun.
  • Be nice to your kids. After all they will choose your nursing home.
  • Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
  • There are 3 kinds of people.... those who can count and those who can't.
  • Why is abbreviation such a long word?
  • Ever stop to think and forget to start again?