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- you answer the door before people knock.
- Juan Valdez named his donkey after you.
- you ski uphill.
- you grind your coffee beans in your mouth.
- you haven't blinked since the last lunar eclipse.
- you lick your coffeepot clean.
- your eyes stay open when you sneeze.
- you chew on other people's fingernails.
- your T-shirt says, "Decaffeinated coffee is the devil's blend."
- you can type 60 words per minute ... with your feet.
- you can jump-start your car without cables.
- all your kids are named "Joe."
- you don't need a hammer to pound nails.
- your only source of nutrition comes from "Sweet & Low."
- you don't sweat, you percolate.
- you buy Half & Half by the barrel.
- you've worn out the handle on your favorite mug.
- you forget to unwrap candy bars before eating them.
- you've built a miniature city out of little plastic stirrers.
- people get dizzy just watching you.
- you've worn the finish off your coffee table.
- the Taster's Choice couple wants to adopt you.
- Starbucks owns the mortgage on your house.
- your taste buds are so numb you could drink your lava lamp.
- instant coffee takes too long.
- your birthday is a national holiday in Brazil.
- you're offended when people use the word "brew" to mean beer.
- you have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug.
- you short out motion detectors.
- you don't even wait for the water to boil anymore.
- your nervous twitch registers on the Richter scale.
- you think being called a "drip" is a compliment.
- you don't tan, you roast.
- you can't even remember your second cup.
- you help your dog chase its tail.
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