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- Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.
- A few clowns short of a circus.
- A few fries short of a Happy Meal
- A few Cokes short of a six-pack.
- A few peas short of a casserole.
- The wheel's spinning, but the hamster's dead.
- One taco short of a combination plate.
- A few feathers short of a whole duck.
- All foam, no beer.
- The cheese slid off his cracker.
- Couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel.
- He fell out of the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down.
- An intellect rivaled only by garden tools.
- As smart as bait.
- Chimney's clogged.
- Doesn't have all his dogs on one leash.
- Forgot to pay his brain bill.
- Her sewing machine's out of thread.
- His belt doesn't go through all the loops.
- No grain in the silo.
- Proof that evolution CAN go in reverse.
- In the pinball game of life, his flippers were a little further apart than most.
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