Verily I say unto ye..........
Money
It can buy a house

But not a home
It can buy a clock

But not time
It can buy you a position

But not respect
It can buy you a bed

But not sleep
It can buy you a book

But not knowledge
It can buy you medicine

But not health
It can buy you blood

But not life

So you see money isn't everything
And it often causes pain and suffering
I tell you this because I am your friend
And as your friend I want to
Take away your pain and suffering!!
So
Send me all your money
And I will suffer for you!

Cash only, please!
After all, what are friends for, huh??