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- You can live without sex but not without your glasses.
- You quit trying to hold in your stomach, no matter who walks into the room.
- You enjoy watching the news.
- The phone rings and you hope its NOT for you.
- The only reason you're still awake at 4 am is indigestion.
- People ask what color your hair USED to be.
- You're proud of your lawnmower.
- Your best friend is dating someone half their age AND isn't breaking any laws.
- You start singing along with the elevator music.
- You really do want a new washing machine for your birthday.
- Your car has four doors.
- You routinely check the oil in your car.
- You've owned clothes so long that they've come back into style, TWICE.
- You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
- You consider coffee one of the most important things in life.
- 8 AM is your idea of "sleeping in".
- You don't remember when you got that mole...or the one next to it.
- You write thank you notes without being told.
- Neighbors borrow your tools.
- You answer a question with "Because I said so!"
- Others ask for your recipes.
- You start Christmas shopping in August.
- You paint walls for a reason other than getting your deposit back.
- You don't like to drive after dark.
- You say the words, "Turn that music down!"
- You wear black socks with sandals.
- You point out what buildings used to be where.
- You know all the warning signs of a heart attack.
- You rake the yard without being told to.
- You can't remember the last time you lay on the floor to watch television.
- The service station attendant lets you pump your gas before paying.
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