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- How do crazy people go through the forest?
- They take the psycho path.
- How do you get holy water?
- Boil the hell out of it.
- What did the fish say when he hit a concrete wall?
- "Dam."
- What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long?
- Polaroids.
- What do prisoners use to call each other?
- Cell phones.
- What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work?
- A stick.
- What do you call cheese that isn't yours?
- Nacho Cheese.
- What do you call Santa's helpers?
- Subordinate Clauses.
- What do you call four bull fighters in quicksand?
- Quattro sinko.
- What do you get from a pampered cow?
- Spoiled milk.
- What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
- Frostbite.
- What has four legs, is big, green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree would kill you?
- A pool table.
- What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
- A nervous wreck.
- What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
- Anyone can roast beef.
- Where do you find a dog with no legs?
- Right where you left him.
- Why are there so many Smiths in the phone book?
- They all have phones.
- Why do bagpipers walk when they play?
- They're trying to get away from the noise.
- Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
- Because they have big fingers.
- What's the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?
- The taste.
- What do you get when you cross a pit bull with a collie?
- A dog that runs for help ... after it bites your leg off.
- What does it mean when the flag is at half mast at the post office?
- They're hiring.
- What kind of coffee was served on the Titanic?
- Sanka
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