MY FAVORITE FRUITCAKE RECIPE

Ingredients:
1 cup water
1 tsp baking soda
1 cup sugar
1 tsp salt
1 cup brown sugar
Lemon juice
4 large eggs
Nuts
1 bottle Jack Daniels
2 cups dried fruit

Sample the Jack Daniels to check quality.
Take a large bowl, check the Jack again . To be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink. Repeat as required. Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one tsp sugar. Beat again.
Make sure the whisky is still OK...Try another cup.
Turn off the mixerer. Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit. Mix on the turner. If the flied druit gets stuck in the beaterers pry it loose with a drewscriver. Sample the whiskey to check the tonsisticity.
Nexth, shift two cups of salt, or something. Who giveths a flicp.
Check the whiskey.
Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table...
Add a spoon of sugar, or something, whatever you can find.
Greash the oven and puth in the fridge.
Turn the cake tin 350 defrees.
Don't forget to beat off the turner.
Throw the bowl through the flicping window.
Check the whiskey again and go to bed.