Those Silly Signs...

over a bathroom urinal in a gas station: "We aim to please, You aim too please."

above another urinal: "Why are you looking up here, are you ashamed to look into your hand?"

on an electrician's truck: "Let Us Remove Your Shorts."

outside a radiator repair shop in a small Midwestern town: "Best Place in Town to Take a Leak."

in a realtor's office: "Lots for little."

in a shoe store: "Come in and have a fit."

in a maternity clothes store: "We are open on labor day."

in a non-smoking area: "If we see you smoking we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."

on the door of the maternity ward: "Push Push Push."

at entrance of the IRS: "Watch your step."

at the exit of the IRS: "Watch your mouth."

in a bookstore: "We treat you write."

on a front door: "Everyone on the premises is a vegetarian except the dog."

in an optometrist's office: "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."

on a scientist's door: "Gone fission."

in a taxidermist's window: "We really know our stuff."

in a podiatrist's window: "Time wounds all heels."

in a butcher's window: "Let me meat your needs."

on used car lot: "Second hand cars in first crash condition."

on fence: "Salesmen welcome. Dog food is expensive."

in a car dealership office: "The best way to get back on your feet- miss a car payment."

over a cannibal's hut: "I never met a man I didn't like."

in a muffler shop: "No appointment necessary. We'll hear you coming."

at a hotel: "Help! We need inn-experienced people."

in a science teacher's room: "If it moves, it's biology. If it stinks, it's chemistry. If it doesn't work, it's physics."

in butchers window: "Pleased to meat you."

on auto body shop: "May we have the next dents?"

at the dry cleaner's window: "Drop your pants here."

on a parking space at a garden nursery: "Reserved for plant manager."

in an Acapulco Hotel: "The manager has personally passed all the water served here."

in a Norwegian lounge: "Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.

on a door to a psychiatric ward: "Please do not disturb further."

in an office: "We shoot every 3rd salesman, and the 2nd one just left."

in a veterinary's waiting room: "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"

on music teachers' door: "Out Chopin."

at the electric company: "We would be delighted if you send in your bill. However, if you don't, you will be."

in beauty shop window: "Dye now!"

on a garbage truck: "We've got what it takes to take what you've got."

at a computer store: "Out for a quick byte."

on restaurant window: "Don't stand there and be hungry. Come in and get fed up."

in a bowling alley: "Please be quiet. We need to hear a pin drop."

for a litter of dachshund pups: "Get a `long` little doggie!"

in a cafeteria: "Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria." In pencil, beneath the sign: "Socks can eat anyplace they want."

on a music library's door: "Bach in a minuet."

in a restaurant window: "T-bone steak $1." Then, in fine print underneath: "With meat $12"

on the inside of a bathroom stall: "Beware of limbo dancers."

A hardware store in Oregon has a sign that reads: "Today's special." Below it says: "So's tomorrow."

on restaurant window: "Great food (50,000 flies can't be wrong)."