Things To Think About

  • Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.

  • If you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?

  • Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?

  • What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

  • Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.

  • I poured Spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.

  • I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

  • Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.

  • How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?

  • Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humor.

  • Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

  • Wear short sleeves! Support your right to bare arms!

  • For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.

  • OK, so what's the speed of dark?

  • Corduroy pillows: They're making headlines!

  • Black holes are where God divided by zero.

  • All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand.

  • I tried sniffing Coke once, but the ice cubes got stuck in my nose.