OUR DUTY

We have to do what we have to do!

Because the Taliban cannot stand nudity and consider it a sin to see a naked woman that is not one's wife, next Saturday afternoon at 2:00 p.m. EST, all North American women are asked to walk out of their houses completely naked to help weed out any neighborhood terrorists. Circling your block for one hour is recommended for this anti-terrorist effort.

All men should position themselves in lawn chairs in front of their homes to prove that they think it's OK to see other women nude. (Since the enemy does not approve of alcohol, a cold six-pack at your side is further proof of your anti-Taliban sentiment.)

Notify the appropriate authorities of any people who do not participate. Your efforts to root out terrorists will be greatly appreciated and indicate your desire to demonstrate your patriotism. To achieve 100% participation, forward this note to other similarly minded patriots.